Aurghhhhh!!! I am so freaking tired, I am having trouble concentrating, ALL of my bad habits are here tonight, along with the ghosties and ghoulies. Even had a brief cameo appearance of the FoG-AL (she seems to be afraid of kittens, as I hadn't seen her for over a week until this evening).
I am contemplating sending myself to bed without a song, but when the hell am I going to make it up? Discipline. Try to be as disciplined as you look. Disci - plan = disciple of my plan, I will follow my plan, stay the course, trust the process and all that crap that is not actually crap when I'm in a better mood. I will make another bloody cup of tea and learn my damn song and practice my damn gig music. Maybe I will meditate first so I don't take this homicidal energy back to the piano.
Common misconception among people who are not artists: that we feel like doing what we do every time we have to show up and do it. I do not feel like practicing today. I feel like eating obscene amounts of Halloween candy and half-sleeping through hulu'ed episodes of 30 Rock and Modern Family (I did a little of that this afternoon, and received an unequivocal confirmation from my body-mind that I could continue to do just that and nothing else, indefinitely, thank you). I haven't had a full day off for about six weeks, and, because of this project, I haven't had that "nothing-really-needs-to-get-done-today" feeling for close to a year.
At least the technical exercises are out of the way, so the piano has been tamed from the black-and-white monster that hits back when I play with my erstwhile bad technique. And my song is fun - "Monster Mash", a novelty song from the early 60s. Where have these songs been all my life?
This year is a marathon. When my body protests, my mind has to keep it going. Disci-plan. C'mon, SuperKat. GO.
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